So, I’m once again confronting my cigarette smoking addiction and getting ready to quit. For good. As I prepare to quit I’m looking back at why I started smoking in the first place. I clearly remember becoming a full on smoker the day my grandfather committed suicide back in 1995. So I’ve smoked for over 20 years. Yikes! But why did I start smoking then? It was a coping mechanism. It helped me confront death and deal with my tremendous feelings of grief and sadness at the time. I’m trying to turn the table in my head and heart and learn healthier coping strategies such as meditation, exercise, journaling, mindfulness and other activities of joy. These activities are little things like playing w animals, search a word, crossword puzzles, baths, telling jokes, movies, drawing, painting, Oracle cards, etc. Basically anything that is joyful to me that keeps me occupied enough to keep my mind off the addiction and focused on recovery and wellness.
The next question becomes, when and how to start? I’ve been grappling with this. I had a plan to start at the beginning of Memorial Day weekend but that fell through. I also have a plan to quit June 1st. Honestly, I have to just be willing and give it to God. Only Source can orchestrate this and make it happen. I just keep saying the Serenity Prayer and holding onto my faith.
All I know is that I have a new No Smoking sign up in my kitchen. My Divine Friends encouraged me to put it up. I’m getting in that mindframe again and it feels good and right.