welcome to the age of aquarius

The breeze blows gently today and I feel a certain calm surrounding me. The coolness of the day echoes in my bones while the lit incense stirs the scent of oud within my apartment. Here, I begin, within this present moment of stillness. As the cars drive steadily by, on the street below my balcony, their rhythmic sound massages the silence, as a train horn in the distance sounds. The tracks run downtown, close to me. I hear the rustle and bustle of the train tracks and wonder who is on there, where they are going.

Once again I sit at a fork in the road and start to get curious about which way is the way that will be the one that will advance me furthest or, which one might be the most passionate, the more freeing and the the path that will herald in the most change, growth and life. Sitting here, staring at options, the 7 of cups runs through my vision. Seeing each token cup full of something wonderful, yet knowing all of them are choices. I can’t have them all nor do I want them all. I just want the one that’s going to be the most doable, the most progressive, the most beautiful and maybe even the one that will bring on the most passion.

I recently reviewed my undergraduate transcript, as a way of reminiscing on my college days. It was with great humor and irony that I discovered an “A” in my Romance class, a literature class based on the various stories in the King Arthur legend and myth. Unfortunately, I don’t remember much of my college education. After the break, it was as if I became another me, a walk-in. My body has known so many souls within it in this lifetime. When one soul completes its purpose, another new “me” emerges. While the veil of amnesia lifts from reality and this third eye, I begin to see that all the “me’s” are united and unified, just various versions of the highest self coming to be.

Sitting here this afternoon is a trip. Contemplating life and reality is a trip. I am, indeed, a trip myself. I just hope I don’t get myself tripped up tripping off the past. I have so many times before. Learning the lessons of the past, while simultaneously letting it all go seems to work the best. The only way forward is to keep moving in that direction. One day, one step, at a time.

In July, it will be the 4th anniversary of Mom passing, and my SCAD heart attack. Last July, our beloved family dog passed, Buddy Boy. I want this July to be different, to be better. I hate the heat and melt in it. It gets harder and harder to survive the heat waves around here. Climate change is real. For now, on this lovely Spring day, I am just noting a desire for this Summer to be different. I want to feel better physically and I’d love to be surrounded by Summer romance, all Summer long. I’m not saying it’s going to happen but at least the desire is there.

Tuesday afternoon. Thank you for your insight. This space out of time where sitting in the present moment seems to encapsulate the entire realm of reality and existence. I won’t be having many more like this. Life changes, things progress and responsibilities mount. I’m grateful for it today.